The other night Justin and I were driving home from a party and we began having a conversation about what it means to be a gentleman. This is a hot button topic for my husband because he believes strongly in everything a gentleman represents. He constantly strives to be the most gentlemanly gentleman there is. He feels the most comfortable wearing a tuxedo while drinking a Manhattan.
So I asked him, what are the top traits of being a gentleman? Some of his responses surprised me because I never would have thought of them. I probably would have gone with the typical holds the door open or picks up the check. Although his responses weren’t typical, I thought they were extremely insightful. I felt really proud to be married to a man who values and practices these 6 things.
- He doesn’t point out when he does things for you, he just does them.
He doesn’t make it a show every time he washes the dishes, he just does them. You don’t feel like you have to gravel at his feet every time he cleans up the dog poop in the backyard because he just does it. He doesn’t expect anything in return or make you feel like you owe him something. He understands that these are the things that need to be done and that you both play an equal part in your relationship.
- He always tips well and takes care of other people.
I swear you can learn 99% of what you need to know about a guy by the way he acts at a restaurant. Is he rude or snapping his fingers at the people who work there? Is he trying to show off by buying an expensive bottle of wine? Is he constantly making comments about how much things cost? Is he over tipping to show off or under tipping because he’s cheap? Is he looking at other women who walk by or is his attention 100% focused on you? Is he asking you questions to get to know you? Does he pick up the check? All of the behaviors you witness in a restaurant translates into real life. So observe carefully while dining out.
- He trusts your advice.
A lot of men like to be right and think they know everything. They’re stuck in the prehistoric times when women didn’t have an opinion and men knew best. A gentleman not only asks your opinion, but trusts your advice. It takes a real man to be open and vulnerable enough to talk to a woman and ask her opinion. A gentleman does that AND trusts the advice she is giving him is good advice. He follows it and uses it because he respects her opinion.
- He dresses appropriately for every occasion.
He knows there’s a time to wear a suit and tie and a time to wear jeans and a t-shirt. He never confuses the two. He also knows that it’s ok to be overdressed rather than under dressed. He looks handsome as hell and puts thought and care into the outfit he chooses.
- He’s chivalrous.
I am here to tell you that chivalry is not dead ladies. It’s out there I promise. Chivalry to me means doing small gestures that make you feel like a lady. So that could be opening your door, carrying something heavy, helping you bring in the groceries, commenting on how beautiful you look, buying you flowers for no reason, planning a surprise date, picking up the check, giving up his seat for you or someone else, giving you his coat when your cold, ringing your doorbell to pick you up and walking you to the door when dropping you off, letting you order first, etc. Don’t worry I get it. You’re a modern independent woman who can take care of herself and doesn’t NEED these things damnit! Well of course you don’t. But it’s nice to be taken care of every once in a while and have someone do nice things for you to make you feel special.
- He’s not intimidated by your success.
In fact he encourages it and it turns him on. This one made me smile the most. Most husbands wouldn’t be so hot to trot that their wives would quit their jobs to start their own business. There is a lot of unknowns, especially financially that comes with that risk. Justin could not have been happier and more supportive of my decision. He is constantly cheering me on and reminding me to believe in myself and everything I have to offer. He tells me he’s most turned on when he sees me excited about a new project or telling people what I do. He can see my passion and my confidence and he thinks it’s sexy as hell!