Finding My Way Back To Love

 

I had a dream once and the dream was so intense, so raw and so real. I dreamt that I was crying because I felt so upset, angry, and jealous. Spirit came to me and said, “Do everything from a place of love”. And in that moment I felt an overwhelming sense of peace like I had just discovered the answer to all of life’s meaning. It felt like everything had made perfect sense. I felt a wave of peace come over me. I could feel the love radiating outside of my body. In the dream, I felt so much love for everyone and everything. I no longer felt angry, upset or jealous. I only felt love.

When I woke up from the dream it had felt so real and I remember thinking to myself to hold on to that feeling. I told myself, “Don’t let this go. THIS is the truth of who you are and why you were put on this earth.” But eventually my ego crept back in and I felt separate again. The feeling of peace and love left and it was replaced by my inner critic, my judgment of others.

I feel like ever since that night I have been chasing that dream. I’ve been wanting to get back to that place because that is the true me. But truth be told it’s been really hard. Life has been incredibly challenging and beautiful this past year. It has taught me so much but most importantly it has shown me the way back to love.

The way back to myself.

The way home.

It is still a work in progress. Sometimes it comes easily and other days I have to work at it, but I know I will get there. I will get to a place of total inner peace and love. I will get to a place where my ego will be removed and I can allow my inner light to shine shine shine.

Even in my darkest moments this past year battling Lymes disease, dealing with severe anxiety, depression and panic attacks I held onto that dream and begged spirit every day to show me a miracle and return me to love. But I had to experience those challenges in order to get to the place where I’m at now. Not that I’m even totally there. There is still work to be done and that’s ok. I honor myself for where I am and I’ve come so far.

We are all one. No one is separate. We are all love. We are all hope. We are all peace. You are love and you are loved. It is only when fear sets in that you feel disconnected from your true self and disconnected from love.  I want you to know that whatever you’re going through you are not alone. We are all in this together. We are a sisterhood so much stronger as a collective than as individuals. I honor wherever you are on your path and if I can support you in any way it would be my honor <3

xo Jen

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