How To Spot A Man In A Sea Of Boys

a-guide-to-big-city-life-love

When I think about what a real man is I instantly hear “What a man, what a man, what a mighty mighty good man” by Salt n Peppa playing in my head.  Anyone else or is that just me?

It can be hard to find a real man in a sea of boys (hint you’re not going to find them on Tinder).

In order to attract a real man there are few things we need to do. The first thing is to be a woman and not a girl.

What do I mean by that?

If you want to attract a mature, responsible, caring, supportive guy you need to act that way yourself. You can’t expect to end up with someone with these qualities if you don’t possess them.

For example…

You just start dating a new guy. You start acting all jealous and insecure when he wants to hang out with his friends. You pick a fight with him just so you get your way.

This is something a girl would do.

However a woman is someone who loves herself and acts like it.

She takes care of her body, knows what she deserves, how she should be treated and treats herself the same way. She understands when a man just wants to hang out with his friends! She is secure and comfortable and knows that while he’s out, he’s being respectful of her and their relationship.

The second thing we need to get clear on is what qualities does a real man possess and how is this different from a boy?

A real man is someone who respects you, your body, your life, your choices, your opinions and your relationship.

A boy is someone who disrespects you and your relationship. He criticizes your body, your choices and your opinions.

A real man supports you in whatever decision you choose to make even if he doesn’t always agree.

A boy criticizes your decisions, says they’re stupid or tries really hard to dissuade you from making them if they aren’t aligned with what he wants.

A real man wants to see you succeed and pushes you to be a better person.

A boy wants to keep you small. He doesn’t want to see you grow and succeed because that makes him feel insecure. He’s afraid you’ll leave him behind.

A real man is a good communicator and knows how to speak his mind, but also when to listen.

A boy never stops talking and is constantly shoving his argument down your throat. He never lets you speak, he doesn’t know how to listen and is constantly talking over you. You leave the conversation feeling emotionally exhausted and not being heard.

A real man is open minded and is willing to try/do new things.

A boy does what he knows how to do because he is afraid of failing or not being perfect.

A real man doesn’t take himself too seriously.

A boy takes himself SO seriously to the point where a fight usually breaks out if you even question his character or motive.

A real man takes responsibility for himself and his actions.

A boy blames everything on everyone else.

A real man is true to his word and when he says he’s going to do something he does it.

A boy flakes out on plans, never calls when he says he’s going to and doesn’t show up when you need him most.

A real man works hard, but knows when to have fun.

A boy only cares about having fun and jumps from job to job.

A real man doesn’t get caught up in drama. No real housewife here!

A boy is always in the center of the drama, whether he’s creating it or adding fuel to the fire.

A real man is loving, sweet and not afraid to be affectionate.

A boy acts cold and uninterested because he gets off on playing games.

A real man knows what you need and gives it to you without expecting anything in return.

A boy is selfish and expects everything to be about him. He doesn’t do anything for you without expecting something in return.

A real man is authentic and doesn’t try to be someone he’s not.

A boy is fake, phony and pretending to be someone he isn’t. You can never figure out who he really is.

When a real man says I love you he means it.

When a boy says he loves you he’s just trying to get in your pants.

A real man rubs your shoulders while writing this blog just because 🙂

So when you find a real man hold onto that shit for dear life and remember that if you want to be with a real man you have to act like a real woman.   Respect and cherish that relationship. Realize and appreciate how special it is because it doesn’t happen often.

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