If you’re out there on the dating scene and doing your thing, I want to give you by best tips for dating so you can be successful.
It’s like when you were in High School and used Cliff Notes. You just needed the most important parts to ace the test or write your paper. I have to be honest though and say I never used Cliff Notes a day in my life. I was always the girl who read every book. Somehow Justin always got better grades than I did and I know FOR SURE he never read any of the books.
Anyway I digress…
When you’re dating you want to make sure you have everything you need in order to be successful. Otherwise you’re going in blind and I want you to be as prepared as you can be. So here are my top tips for dating.
Be your authentic self
When you’re dating it can feel like you’re being interviewed or auditioning for a part. Except this is real life and this is not for a job. Be true to who you are not what you think he wants. Don’t play into trying to be something you’re not. Don’t lie about your likes or dislikes because you think that’s what he wants to hear. Just be yourself. You don’t have to agree with everything he says. You don’t have to sit there, smile and look pretty. He will appreciate you so much more if you’re upfront and yourself the entire time.
Stay in alignment with your values
Quickly jot down your top 10 values. Family, loyalty, trust, friendship, honesty, etc. What are the values that are most important to you? Make sure you’re living and dating in alignment with those values. So if honesty makes it into your top 10 list and you’re lying to yourself and your date about what you’re looking for in a relationship, you’re living outside of alignment with your values. Stay within them and it will make making dating a whole lot easier.
Be kind, but honest
Ok so ghosting is a hot button word right now. It’s when you’re talking to someone consistently and when you try to make plans with them, they have a ton of excuses or bail on the date and you never hear from them again. It leaves you questioning your sanity and worth. Like did that just happen? Was I really talking to someone? Did I completely make up this relationship in my mind? Not cool. And if you don’t like it being done to you, don’t do it to others. If you go out on a date with someone and you know it’s not going anywhere, don’t just disappear off the face of the earth. Be honest with him. You don’t have to be rude about it, but honesty is key. You can be honest and kind at the same time.
Pay attention to your inner GPS system
Your body never lies. Have you ever gotten a feeling, like an actual physical sensation when you’re around someone that wasn’t good? Or you’ve gotten a physical sensation in your body when you’re around someone who makes you feel really good? That is your body’s way of guiding you either away from danger or towards what’s meant for you. We all have this inside of us. Pay attention to your body’s physical reaction when you’re on a date. How do you feel around this person? How does what they’re saying make you feel? Take note of it and learn to trust it. It will never fail you.
Leave the negative self-talk at home
Seriously give it a rest. That girl needs a night off. Negative self-talk can seriously ruin a date. The bad news is we all have that naggy, bitchy voice inside of us. The good news is we don’t have to listen to her. She is not the boss and what she says doesn’t go. You’re in control of how you want to feel. If you find yourself listening to her have a mantra ready to go in your back pocket and repeat it to yourself as many times as you need.
Check your mindset
How do you want this date to go? Before you head out, visualize the date in your mind. Imagine what you’re doing, what you’re talking about, how you’re FEELING. Visualizing the date helps to create a positive energy so you can start your date off on the right foot.
Focus on getting to know someone, not finding “the one”
Women are SO guilty of this especially if you’re looking to settle down and get married. Check those expectations at the door. Dating is not interviewing for a potential husband position. Dating is about getting to know someone. So if you’re sitting there imagining your monogram towels and what your children would look like, STOP. This is not what dating is about. Focus on just getting to know him. This will take a lot of pressure off of you and the date.
Know what you deserve and never settle
You are worth someone loving you. You deserve to have the life and relationship of your dreams. Don’t ever let anyone (especially you) tell you otherwise. If he doesn’t call you back, if he doesn’t ask you out on a second date, if he only wants to sleep with you, know that you deserve SO much more than that. Don’t sell yourself short.
Keep boundaries in place
Don’t confuse boundaries with walls. Keeping your guard up is different than keeping boundaries in place. Boundaries let the other person know what’s ok and what isn’t. Know what yours are and stick to them. Don’t bend them for anyone. This will compromise your sense of self and also give the guy the idea that you’re not confident enough to say no.
Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable
It’s ok to be a little vulnerable on a date. You don’t have to share your entire life story with every gory detail, but a little vulnerability is fine. This will help show him that you’re real, authentic, and it will help you two to connect on a deeper level. If you start opening up, chances are he will do the same and you will get to know more about him in a meaningful way.
Be proud of who you are
You are an amazing, incredible woman. There is only one you on this planet. You have gifts that only YOU can offer this world. Be confident and proud of who you are. If you find yourself feeling insecure, repeat your mantra and tell that biotch in your mind to shut it. ·
One of the simplest, easiest ones that most of us forget. Have fun! We get so caught up in the anxiety of it all, it’s easy to forget just to have some good ol’ fashion fun. Whatever you guys do together have fun. Laugh, do something silly, have a few cocktails, whatever! Just have fun. This is also a mindset. Tell yourself that your only goal tonight is to have fun and see how you feel going into the date. I bet you’ll end having a whole lot more fun than if you went in with expectations and anxiety.