Dating is not for the faint of heart. It’s tough and anyone who’s willing to put themselves out there is a hero in my book.
When I was in my early 20s I was a total mess. I was running around town without a clue of who I was, what I wanted or what I DESERVED. I let men dictate how I felt about myself.
If he called I felt worthy. If he didn’t I was worthless. If he asked me out I felt deserving. If he didn’t I felt not good enough. If he kissed me I felt lovable. If he didn’t I felt like there was something wrong with me.
It was a dangerous situation to be in to allow a man to have all of the power over my self-worth. It was not one of my proudest moments.
It wasn’t until I realized that I could stop believing the stories in my mind and that I had the power to decide how I wanted to feel, that everything changed.
I no longer cared if he called or not. If he wanted to date me or not. If he wanted to kiss me or not.
Those things didn’t matter because I was in charge of how I felt about myself and I didn’t need a man to validate it. It’s incredibly freeing to take ownership of yourself and your feelings instead of blaming it on others.
After that it was game on.
My confidence was on another level and I started dating A LOT. All of these really amazing guys started showing up out of nowhere. But I knew that I was in charge of who I wanted to go out with and how much time and energy I wanted to invest in that person.
The problem was I thought confidence was about how I looked. What I realized is confidence is a mindset. How you approach dating is a mindset.
Comparing yourself to others
Focusing on what you don’t want
Apologizing for who you are
Only seeing your flaws
Being a perfectionist
Settling for less than you deserve
Living out of alignment with your values
Letting people disrespect your boundaries w/o holding them accountable
Listening to what friends/family/media/culture/religions think you should do/be.
Smiling and making eye contact
Putting on some lipstick
Creating an empowering playlist
Moving your body (dance, run, walk, swim, bike)
Feeding your body foods that nourish it
Spending time doing things you love
Talking with a friend
Saying thank you when someone compliments you
Standing up straight with your head high
Celebrating successes no matter how big or small
Putting on your favorite outfit or shoes
Creating a mantra and repeat it to yourself daily (For example, I am filled with energy and joy. I am worth loving. I am perfect the way I am. I’m excited for what the future holds.).
By incorporating these practices into your life, you will feel instantly more confident and be able to go out into the world and show people who you truly are.
PS- Looking for a community of bubbly, compassionate, daring, fun-loving women that feel like they’ve been your girlfriends forever? Join my Facebook community Fearless & Fabulous Love where women just like you are inspiring and supporting one another to create the love life of their dreams!
http://www.jennifercsajko.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/jenlogo.png00jencsajkohttp://www.jennifercsajko.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/jenlogo.pngjencsajko2016-05-25 18:18:422016-12-21 22:29:17My Quick Tips On How To Be Confident Right Now