So let’s say you’re dating someone new and you bring him around so your friends can meet him. After the nights over you ask your friends what they think about your new guy and you get a less than stellar response. You’re totally crushed. How can they not like him? He’s great! I really like this guy.
Now shit’s awkward AF.
You want to keep dating him, but in the back of your mind you know your friends don’t like him. Here’s the deal…
The first thing you need to do is ask yourself what are my friend’s intentions? Are these people I trust, respect their opinions, know they’re coming from a good place? This can be a slippery slope because sometimes our friends can see things we can’t. They are coming with a totally outside perspective that can be helpful if your friend has good intentions.
However, that’s not always the case. You may love your friends, have a great time with them, but sometimes they might be projecting their own issues onto you.
Let’s say your friend REALLY wants a boyfriend. Like out on the prowl every night of the week looking for her next relationship. Then BAM you come waltzing in, happy as a clam with your new guy. Chances are she’s going to be less than thrilled about this. She not only has to see you be happy with a guy and wants that, but she’s also losing her wing woman. Now what’s she supposed to do?!
This is NOT a you problem. This is a HER problem.
Her telling you she doesn’t like your guy, may very well be her projecting her own fears and insecurities onto you.
Whatever you do PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don’t try to force her to be friends with your guy. I promise it will only make things worse. If she’s not his biggest fan that’s ok. She doesn’t have to like everyone you date. Make time to hang out just you and her and make time for just you and your guy.
So if you’re put in a situation where a friend doesn’t like the guy your dating ask yourself these questions:
- Is my friend projecting her own issues onto me?
- Does my friend have my best interests are heart?
- Can I trust that what my friend is saying is coming from a pure place?
- Is there some truth to what she’s saying?
- Do I respect this person and value their opinion?
And at the end of the day the only person you need approval from is yourself. As long as you trust and know yourself well enough, no one else’s opinion matters.