We all have 2 sides to us.

Our shadow and our light.

For a lot of people, living in their light feels the most comfortable. Looking at their shadow selves and at those darker places can be scary. They want to shove all of it in the back of the closet and shut the door as tightly as possible.

Not for me. I’m the opposite.

I’ve always been more comfortable with my shadow self. The part of me that has seen some shit. Has felt things deeply. Has delved into the darker emotions.

I’m very comfortable in this space.

A few days ago, a friend said to me that I’m a little too comfortable in my shadow. I get into my hole and then try to claw and dig my way out. I get out, look around, realize how amazing my life is going and then go “Oh shit, this feels super uncomfortable” and jump back down into the hole.

I repeat this pattern time and time again.

Because the light feels scary and unsafe. I’m more comfortable in the dark.

And while being very intimate with your shadow side is wonderful and necessary, I also have to be very aware of when I’m self-sabotaging to keep myself in my hole.

It’s safe to live in the light. It’s safe to feel good. It’s safe to let go of my story around the other shoe dropping. It’s safe to lean into joy. It’s safe to feel so fucking grateful for how wonderful my life is.

There is nothing to be afraid of. It’s all just a story I’ve made up to keep me safe.

So, here’s to living in the light, to finding more of a balance between the two, to feeling safe anywhere and at any time, and to letting go of stories that no longer serve our highest and greatest good. Cheers 🥂

xo,

 

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