This week I am a part of an amazing project called The Love Challenge: 7 Days of Love. During The Love Challenge everyone is given activities designed to help them reconnect with their partner through fun & friendship.
So far we are 2 days into the challenge and I’ve already learned an important lesson that I wanted to share with you guys.
I will admit I can be needy at times. Ok more times than I would like to admit. And sometimes I put a lot of pressure on my husband to fulfill those needs. “I want. I need. Can you do more of… Can you do less of…”, are a few of the phrases that usually come out of my mouth. I can be very quick to point out what I need him to do more of, but what I really should be doing is pointing out what I should be doing more of.
This challenge has really opened my eyes to how it can be just as fulfilling if not more fulfilling to do things for him. To share with him how much he means to me, to cook him a nice meal, to make it a point to spend some quality time talking and connecting with him.
And guess what’s happened?
I’m getting all of the things I need in return.
So instead of me nagging him about spending more QT together or showing me he loves me, he’s doing it all on his own. I don’t even have to ask. Isn’t that crazy how it works? By giving him the things that I want he’s giving me the things I need in return, minus the bitching. Everyone’s happier!
The point of my story is when you’re feeling like you’re not getting what you need, take a minute and instead of complaining to them about it, do something nice for them instead. This might seem difficult at first because you’re not getting what you want so why would you do something nice for them? But by writing them a quick note telling them why they are important to you, you are breaking the stalemate. You are showing them how much they mean to you and in return I guarantee you will get what you need.
And most importantly I forgot how gratifying it feels to do something nice for someone else. It’s almost nicer than getting what I want. I’m going to make a valiant effort to stop making this relationship me, me, me based and remember that everyone needs to be reminded and showed how much their loved.