The holidays are such a fun and exciting time. It can also be slightly chaotic. Between the holiday parties, gift buying and family functions it’s easy to get caught up in the craziness.

Usually around January Justin and I look at each other like “Oh hey who are you again?” I always know we’re feeling disconnected with each other when start bickering or arguing over the small stupid things.

It’s usually at this point I say to him “We’re arguing because we have spent the last month busy with so many things we haven’t spent any time together. I feel completely disconnected from you”. Then we will take the next few months to get ourselves back on track.

But not this year. This year I have decided will be different. Even in the chaos of the holidays I will make a valiant effort to stay connected to him. Here are the 5 ways I’m going to do that.

  1. Go on a date

Justin and I try to make an effort to go on a date once a week or once every other week. Around the holidays money gets tight and so does time. It can turn into one of those things that gets pushed off until after the holidays. Don’t do that. Take time once a week or once every other week to get out of the house and go out just the two of you. You can even make it a holiday themed date. It will help you stay connected and have some fun on your own. Check out some ideas here:


2. Say no to things

You don’t have to go to EVERY party you get invited to. Choose the ones that are the most important to you and go to those. Enjoy yourself. Say no to the ones you could do without. Saying no is okay. Your time is important. Be gracious and say thank you, but we won’t be able to make it.

3. Check in with one another

Ask your partner “How are we doing? Do you need anything from me? Are we spending enough time together? What do we need more of/less of?” Your partner will appreciate this and will more often than not reciprocate.  Checking in helps you to stay on the same page. It also helps you and your guy to not feel resentful that there’s not enough attention being paid.

4. Create some alone/quiet time

The holiday season can get very loud and overwhelming with a lot of things happening at once. It’s really important to carve out some quiet alone time. Maybe one night turn the TV off and just sit and talk. Or get into bed early and just relax. Whatever you decide make sure the technology is turned off and it’s just the two of you.

5. Create holiday traditions of your own

Every year Justin and I go into the city to see the Rockefeller Christmas tree, go to St. Patrick’s Cathedral and the Saks 5th Ave. window displays then go out to dinner at one of our favorite restaurants. It’s our favorite Christmas tradition.  It’s nice knowing that we have something that’s just for the two of us during this season. Talk to your man and come up with a few holiday traditions to start together. Here’s a list of some ideas to get you started:


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