It’s time to get clear on what your values and boundaries are, so you can stay in alignment with what it is you really want in a relationship. Also, let’s take a closer look at what it means to be confident and how you can become more confident right now.
Confidence is a mindset. It’s not about what you look like, it’s about how you FEEL. And it starts with loving yourself. How can we expect someone to love us if we don’t love ourselves?
Think of a relationship like a mirror. The way someone treats you is a direct reflection of how you treat yourself. If you talk negatively about yourself, you can bet your booty the type of man you attract isn’t going to talk negatively to you also. If you don’t honor your boundaries, how can you expect someone else to honor them? If you are living outside of alignment with your values, the men in your life are probably going to be doing the same.
See how that works?
When you stay in alignment with your values, create healthy boundaries and are confident in who you are, the universe has no choice but to send you someone who’s the same. The energy you put out is the energy you get back. Positive attracts positive.
- List your top 10 values. For example, Family, loyalty, trust, vulnerability, communication, etc. Why are these important to you?
- Are you living your life in alignment with these values? Why or why not? What are the actions or activities that exemplify these values? Who are the people that encourage and support me when I’m acting on these values (especially when it’s not comfortable)?
- Because of these values, my life is more: Without these values, I would be missing:
- Boundaries are all about getting clear on what’s ok and what’s not ok. What boundaries need to be in place so I can live my life authentically? What actions need to be put in place if someone disrespects your boundaries?
- Becoming aware of patterns will help you shift them. Notice when your confidence is high and when it needs a lift. What’s happening in the situation? Who are you with? Do you feel that your self-confidence makes a situation harder? Do you not do things because of negative self- talk? DO you find yourself standing in the background?
- What does confidence look like for you? Do you possess any of these qualities?
- What do you love doing? What lights you up? Why?
- Create a list of all of your successes/strengths/accomplishments, no matter how big or small. What unique gifts/qualities do you have to share with the world?
- Start trusting yourself and what your inner voice is telling We all have one inside of us that is guiding us like an internal GPS system towards our true selves. Start paying attention and listening to it. Here’s how to start practicing:
Find a comfortable place to sit. Close your eyes and begin taking deep breaths in and out. Allow your body to relax. Think of the worst moment or time in your life. Allow that memory to wash over you. Sink down into your body. Move through your various body parts, beginning with the top of your head and ending at the tips of your toes. Go slowly and notice any physical sensations you feel in your body and where you feel them. Give yourself a few moments to go through this. When you open your eyes make note of what physical sensations you felt and where you felt them. Now I want you to give it a name. For example, tightening of the chest sensation, restricting of the throat sensation, stomach in knots sensation. After you’ve come up with a name, write it down. Now I want you to do the exact same thing except this time I want you to remember the best moment or time in your life. A moment where you were the happiest you had ever been. Allow that memory to wash over you. Sink down into your body. Move through your various body parts, beginning with the top of your head and ending at the tips of your toes. Go slowly and notice any physical sensations you feel in your body and where you feel them. Give yourself a few moments to go through this. When you open your eyes make note of what physical sensations you felt and where you felt them. Now I want you to give it a name. For example, freeing sensation, heart bursting sensation, fluttering in the chest sensation. After you’ve come up with a name, write it down. This is how you’re going to begin to trust your intuition. The next time you need to make a decision, meet someone new, or are unsure of how you feel about something, do this exercise. Your body does not lie. If when you do it, it feels more of the stomach in knots sensation, this is your body’s way of saying NO! Run in the other direction as fast as you can. If however, you feel a freeing sensation, this is your body’s way of saying YES! You should most definitely do this. Learn to trust yourself.