Dating is not for the faint of heart. It’s tough and anyone who’s willing to put themselves out there is a hero in my book.

When I was in my early 20s I was a total mess. I was running around town without a clue of who I was, what I wanted or what I DESERVED. I let men dictate how I felt about myself.

If he called I felt worthy. If he didn’t I was worthless. If he asked me out I felt deserving. If he didn’t I felt not good enough. If he kissed me I felt lovable. If he didn’t I felt like there was something wrong with me.

It was a dangerous situation to be in to allow a man to have all of the power over my self-worth. It was not one of my proudest moments.

It wasn’t until I realized that I could stop believing the stories in my mind and that I had the power to decide how I wanted to feel, that everything changed.

I no longer cared if he called or not. If he wanted to date me or not. If he wanted to kiss me or not.

Those things didn’t matter because I was in charge of how I felt about myself and I didn’t need a man to validate it. It’s incredibly freeing to take ownership of yourself and your feelings instead of blaming it on others.

After that it was game on.

My confidence was on another level and I started dating A LOT. All of these really amazing guys started showing up out of nowhere.  But I knew that I was in charge of who I wanted to go out with and how much time and energy I wanted to invest in that person.

What I learned was confidence is a mindset. It’s not about what you look like, it’s about how you FEEL. And it starts with loving yourself. How can we expect someone to love us if we don’t love ourselves?

xo Jen

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