I have a friend who is currently single and out in the dating world. She recently met someone that she really liked and had great chemistry with. She was telling me how the sexual attraction between the 2 of them was so strong, but she felt like she had to wait a certain amount of time before they had sex. I said to her, you’re a grown woman and you know yourself well enough to know when something FEELS really right and when it doesn’t. So if you’re feeling it, go for it! Don’t let the bull shit of what you think you SHOULD be doing stand in the way.
There are so many rules, double standards, slut shaming, and bull shit that surrounds being single and having sex. You’ve probably heard things like, you have to wait at least 3 dates before you have sex with him. Or, guys will think you’re a slut if you have sex on the first date.
Guys are celebrated for having sex with as many women as possible, yet women are relentlessly slut shamed if their number of sexual partners is “too high”.
Well to me that’s all bull shit. I want you to throw all of the rules, double standards, slut shaming bull shit out the window and listen up.
When and if you decide to have sex with someone is totally and completely up to you. If you’re hanging out with someone or on a date and you really like them, the chemistry is right and it FEELS right, go for it. I don’t care if it’s the first date or the 20th date. If you are comfortable enough with yourself, trust your instincts, and follow what FEELS right, it will never steer you wrong.
If however you do something out of fear, like have sex with him because you think he won’t like you if you don’t or you’re not confident enough in yourself to say no, you’re setting yourself up for failure. Whenever you do something out of fear it always ends badly.
Whenever you do something that FEELS right, no matter what other people, the media, your culture or religion thinks, it will always end well because you’re doing it for YOU and no one else. You know you best and you have to trust yourself and the decisions you make.