A heroine defines her journey. She is not the victim of her circumstance and faces challenges head on. The heroine writes her own story, always wants more out of life and takes charge of getting what she wants. Whether it be; career, family, love, friendships, you CAN have it all.

All too often we place blame on others and make excuse after excuse for why it’s their fault we’re feeling badly. When you start blaming others for how you feel, you give all of our power to them. We become the victim and feel like we’re powerless. Playing the victim is a story you’re telling yourself, but it’s not the truth. YOU have the choice if you want to live from a place of fear (victim mindset) or love (heroine mindset).

This is in no way no denying or diminishing the hurt and pain of the past. These experiences have made you the person you are. But you can go beyond the pain and hurt and learn to operate from a place of love and strength.

It’s time to get honest about your story and OWN it. Here’s how you become the heroine of your story:

  1. Tell your love story: Get out your journal and write down the story of your love life. Start with your earliest memory (this could go as far back as your childhood and feeling loved and supported by friends, family or peers). Where did it all begin? What were the high points? Low points? Get as detailed as possible. Include descriptive words and emotions.


  1. Find the silver lining: Where in your life have you let a challenging circumstance or event define who you are? Where have you not taken responsibility for the way you’re choosing to see something? Pick one or two areas of your love life and look for ways in which things really have ended up perfectly as a result of these circumstances that may not have felt so great at the time. Did you learn something you couldn’t have learned in the same way without going through the heartache? Is there one thing from your love story you can choose to find right in this moment?


  1. Become the heroine of your story: Rewrite your own story. Include all of the great things that you’ve accomplished and lessons you’ve learned. What’s going as planned? What detours did you take that got you to exactly where you need to be? And then ask yourself, what’s next? Build the story that you want to be talking about in 6 months – 6 years – 60 years. One that you can look back on and feel proud that you took the steps you took – made the choices you made – came out better, more fulfilled in the end.


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