Let’s talk about mindset, baby!

If you’ve ever worked with a coach or checked out anything in the self-help world, you know that in order to accomplish anything you want you must first check your mindset. And when I say anything, I mean anything. Mindset applies to every area of your life. Not making enough money? Mindset! Not finding the relationship you want? Mindset! Not happy with your weight? Mindset! It all starts and ends with the thoughts and beliefs you’re telling yourself.


Here’s where you get into trouble. Over the years you’ve become stuck in your story and the role you’ve played. These stories/thoughts/beliefs have kept you unhappy, frustrated, disappointed and have kept you from creating the life you want.


In order to create the life and love you want, you have to dismantle the prison of negative thoughts and beliefs. On today’s blog, I’m going to teach you how.


This method is based on Byron Katie’s “The Work”. It’s so simple, but extremely powerful and is my secret weapon to getting myself and my client’s mindsets in check.


Set a timer for 5-10 min. Grab a piece of paper or your journal and do a thought download around your love life. That means just write straight for that 5-10 min whatever comes up for you.


Don’t judge it, don’t criticize it, don’t correct spelling and punctuation, just write.


After the timer goes off, look back over what you’ve read and choose the 5 MOST painful thoughts you see.




I’m not good enough

I’m not worthy of being loved

No one will ever want me

I’ll never find the right guy


Just sit with these for a few minutes and choose the ONE that FEELS the most painful for you. By choosing the MOST painful thought you are helping to tear down the prison of limiting beliefs you’ve built around yourself over the years.  You will want to pay attention to the physical sensations in your body to choose the thought that is the MOST painful for you.


Now let’s question that bad boy.  This is a simple and easy process, but it is oh so powerful.

Write the thought down and underneath it answer these 4 questions. Remember there is no right or wrong answer. Answer these questions honestly.

  1. Is the thought true?
  2. Can you absolutely know with 100{c9d3c824302757703f48837c7eefcd02729f5877ba90517f71b8e0601160fef7} certainty that this thought is true?
  3. How you ACT and what emotions do you FEEL when you think this thought?
  4. Imagine waking up tomorrow and never being able to think that thought again. It’s like it disappeared into thin air and you have no memory of it. Who would you be and how would you feel without that thought?

Are you with me so far? You’re doing great!


You’ve figured out which are the most painful thoughts and narrowed it down to 1. You’ve questioned the shit out of it.  Now it’s time for the turnaround.  This is the fun part.


Take the original negative thought and swap it for a positive one.


For example…


I’m not worthy of being loved becomes I am worth loving or I am worthy of being lovedPlay around with it and see which new thought FEELS really good.


This is going to be your new mantra. Write it down and post it everywhere as a reminder.

After you come up with your new thought, I want you to list 5 reasons this thought is true. Why are you worthy of being loved? What makes you worth loving?


xo Jen


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