I hear this question a lot from women specifically women who are single. “What are men looking for in a woman?” or “What is going to make me more attractive to a guy?” The answer is simple.


The word “confidence” tends to get a bad rap especially for women. If were too confident we can be seen as snotty, bitchy, and full of ourselves. But there is a difference between being cocky and confident. Cocky is walking around thinking our shit don’t stink, being ungracious and arrogant. Confidence is being comfortable enough in our own skin to know what we want.

When I started to think about what it means to be a confident woman in today’s world it all comes down to the ability to be yourself and be happy with who you are. It is not easy being a woman by any means especially if you’re out there in the dating world. If you have sex right away you’re a slut and if you make them wait you’re a prude. It’s typically a lose lose situation for us girls. So not caring what anyone thinks and doing what feels right for you is the best way to navigate through the dating world.

This was something that I knew intuitively in my early 20s running around  the bar scene without a care in the world. I always found that men were most attracted to me when I wasn’t trying. Just being myself and knowing what I wanted seemed to attract them like moths to a flame. It was the ongoing joke in my house. My mom couldn’t keep up with which guy I was going out with every night. The second I started doing something because I thought a guy would like it, I would never hear from him again.

When you start to make decisions based on what you think a guy will want to hear or because society tells you to is where you start to run into trouble and become less attractive. Men want a woman who can speak her mind, who (as my husband likes to put it) has her shit together, and is comfortable being herself.


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