Have you ever had those moments where you wish you could go back in time and shake your younger self? Shout WTF are you doing??
Why did I ever agree to go out with that guy?
Why did I stay in that relationship so long with someone who treated me like crap?
Why did I sleep with that guy who I knew was a total dirtbag?
WHY?? WHY?? WHY??
If you’re in your 20s and reading this I want to share with you 5 of the BIGGEST dating lessons I learned in my 20s. Hopefully, I can save you from some of the mistakes I made…
- If a guy likes you he will put forth the effort
Holy good lord. If I had a dollar for every time I agonized over whether a guy was going to call or if he really liked me or if I was crazy and it was all in my head, I would be rich AF. When a guy is into you he WILL make the effort. That means he will call, text, make plans, keep those plans, show up and ask you out again. No exceptions! As women, we like to make up stories in our minds and excuses as to why he’s not doing these things. The truth is if he’s into you he will. Plain and simple.
- You attract what you put out there
We’re all made up of energy, our thoughts are energetic creations, and that energy has a particular frequency to it. These various frequencies tend to sync up with each other. So because like attracts like, we attract (some prefer the word “create”) as we vibrate. What we vibrate dictates what we attract (or create) in life. This makes perfect sense when it came to dating in my 20s. When I was out on the dating scene I was a hot mess and therefore I was attracting men who had a slew of their own issues. It wasn’t until I took a deep look within and started working on my own shit that I began to attract quality good guys.
- Dating is supposed to be fun so enjoy the process
This may be a generalized statement, but I think for the most part we put ourselves out there time and time again because at the end of the day we want to find love. We want to find that amazing person to share our lives with. But what happens is we start to put so much pressure on ourselves and whoever is sitting across from us on our date. So relax! Have fun! Don’t take dating so seriously. Focus on having a good time instead of trying to find “the one”.
- You’re going to have your heart broken and that’s ok
There is no way in hell you’re going to get out of your 20s without having at least one heartbreak. And at the time it’s going to seem like the absolute end of the world. At some point, you loved this person very much. They were your entire life. You had your futures completely mapped out and then it went to shit and you were devastated. I want to tell you that you are going to survive this and come out on the other side better, stronger and wiser. You’re going to learn so much about yourself when you’re knee deep in the pain. Some of the biggest lessons I’ve learned were when I had my heart shattered into a million pieces. I’m the woman I am today because of it. And another silver lining is with each heartbreak I was able to become more clear on what I wanted in a partner. Breakups are not a bad thing.
- Stay in alignment with your values
I think when we’re young and we aren’t completely sure who we are we can push our values aside for someone else. I know I did many times. I knew what my values were as a person and what I wanted in a relationship, but there were many times I let the person I was with or the person that I liked talk me out of it. Be strong in who you are and what you want. If something makes you uncomfortable or you’re not ok with the way someone is treating you, don’t let them. Stand up for yourself. Don’t be afraid to speak your truth because you think someone won’t want you anymore. And if this person continues to push your boundaries and makes you feel bad about what you believe in, please don’t stick around. If he doesn’t care about you for who you are he never will and he isn’t worth it. You are worth so much more.