As a dating and relationship coach, I’m constantly keeping up on the content that’s out there. Blogs, articles, books, columns, etc. You name it, I’m reading it.  I like to see what other experts are talking about in the media and what I can learn from them.

Whenever I come across an article, blog, book, column, that starts with “How to get a guy to”, I immediately roll my eyes. Unless of course it’s about how to lose a guy in 10 days. Then I’m definitely reading that.

How to get a guy to commit. How to get a guy to text you back. How to get a guy to fall in love with you. How to get a guy to ask you on a 2nd date. How to get a guy to ask you out in the first place. How to get a guy to be your boyfriend or worse to marry you.

I. Just. Can’t.

This is nothing against other experts. They write things like this to get people’s attention so they’ll read their articles.

No harm right?


Articles like this teach women that who you are is not good enough. It teaches us that we need to do x, y and z in order for men to love us.

So wrong on so many levels.

If you are not being your authentic self and being true to who you are, nothing in those articles are going to help you.

In my coaching practice, you will never hear me say the words “If you want a guy to do ________, you must do _________.”

Because I have no idea! I have no idea how to make anyone do anything because you can’t. If someone wants to do something they do it all on their own.

If a guy won’t commit, he doesn’t deserve you. Move on. If a guy doesn’t text you back, he’s not interested and not worth your time. If he doesn’t fall in love with you on his own, then it’s not real love. If he doesn’t ask you on a 2nd date or even out on the first one, he’s not interested and not worth your attention. If he doesn’t want to be your boyfriend or marry you, he doesn’t’ deserve to be. Find someone who does.

The most important thing you can do is be yourself. If he doesn’t like that, then he’s not worth liking.

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